The insight that this perfect stranger offered me resonated with me throughout the process of that first true heartbreak. And it dawned upon me: These are people whose sex lives pre-date apps like Grindr or Scruff, and they may have even evaded the widespread millennial mentality of quickly finding something defective with a new lover, only to start brainlessly swiping again.
For me, older gay men came to symbolize the one thing more inspiring than heartbreak: These guys had been through the emotional throes of dating, and ultimately, they had been able to fall in love again — even multiple times.
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I needed to know their secrets. By all means, in Greek culture, this relationship was considered an education.
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But today, relationships between older gay men and younger gay men are seemingly plagued by peer judgment over presumptive motivations. Admittedly, I have been one to shy away from intimate encounters with men much older than me in the past. A lot of gay men around my age assume that older gay men, on the other hand, are mainly into younger gay men for the sex, perhaps so the youth can somehow rub off on them in bed like some heavy cologne.
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Still, many ask: Today, online dating apps have intersected many gay men of differing ages and backgrounds. And though these apps may be seen as grassroots one-night stand delivery services, they also provide rich, rare inter-age experiences where younger and older gay men, already comfortable under the veil of physical intimacy, can communicate and dispense insight into the minefield that is the modern gay dating world. But with the little experience I have, that still somehow appeals the most.
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